What's your version of the perfect man?
Ah, a question that has had many different answers throughout my short life. If you had asked when I was nine, Leonardo DiCaprio no question. At twelve, I would've said Shane West. At fourteen, it was Orlando Bloom. At twenty-four, it's Leonardo DiCaprio again (just kidding) (kind of kidding) (Leo, call me). But really, almost at my quarter-life mark and inevitable crisis (Does anyone else feel like they have a coming-of-age crisis every year? More on that at a later date), I think I have pieced together a pretty balanced, yet realistic, yet not-selling-myself-short "perfect man."
First of all, the perfect man doesn't exist, and we all know that. Perfection is unattainable, what's perfect for you isn't perfect for someone else, blah blah blah, we get it. The question was what do IIIII consider a perfect man, so I will answer assuming my version of perfection can exist.
Funny. The guy has got to be funny. That is definitely number one. And by funny I mean, yes, he can crack jokes and is sarcastic and witty. But I also mean he gets my brand of humor. He not only laughs at my jokes, but actually finds me funny. He is sarcastic and understands sarcasm. Funny is such a key element to a perfect guy for me.
Of course there are the basics; he's got to be caring and compassionate. Whether that means he loves dogs (he has to) or he buys me chocolate when I'm being mean and PMSy (he should). He's got to be a family-minded person. He's involved with his family, and he wants one of his own. He's got to be smart to some degree because there are lots of ways to be smart. I don't need him to be a genius, have a PhD, or be smarter than me (he shouldn't be) (just kidding) (maybe); I just want him to be competent and strong willed and educated enough to argue points for things he cares about. He's got to be hard working and motivated but able to be lazy with me on Sundays at the very least. Not a workaholic but not a bum.
Then there are the superficial things: I like tall men. Nice smile. Nice eyes. That feels obvious, but when building the perfect man one should be specific. Nice sense of fashion or willing to let me guide him in that arena. Athletic or active, whether it be sports or outdoor activities or what have you.
It would be cool if he liked to read. He has to like TV and movies, which also sounds obvious but really isn't. Some people don't like TV. I don't get it either. What will we talk about? How will you get it when I quote things? It would be amazing if he could cook, but at the very least he has to appreciate food. Sure, everyone eats. But not everyone gets food. We've got to be mutual foodies. It will be a big part of our relationship, I guarantee you that.
He has to be a good compromiser and patient with me because I'm a stubborn compromiser. He has to challenge me and learn from me as much as I learn from him. We have to be best friends because really, what's the point if you're not?
There are probably a million things I'll think of later that I should've said, and those things probably will change tomorrow or next year into other things I think are important as I figure out what perfect actually means to me. So ask me again in like six months. Maybe perfection doesn't exist, but I think there are people perfect for each of us. Even if he's not perfect for you, at some point that won't matter and he'll seem perfect anyways (until he leaves the seat up or forgets to pick you up on time or buys you an ugly sweater as a birthday gift or forgets what color your eyes are...but you'll pay him back for that in various ways too).
So Mr. Perfect, call me (aka Leo).
Any hobbies? What’s a quirky thing you like to do?
I love food so, so much. So a lot of my hobbies center around eating, cooking, exploring new restaurants, etc. Brunching is my favorite activity and trying adventurous dishes is a passion — the weirder the combination of foods, the better.
What's the worst thing about the opposite sex?
I can only pick one? It's too hard! Not since Calculus multiple choice tests in high school have I had such a hard time choosing one answer. But that was because I didn't know the right one, and this is because I have too many right ones. To be fair, there are always a lot of things I really love about the opposite sex (in my case this means men). And to be even more fair, usually they're just so cute you don't really care about the dumb things they're doing that annoy the shit out of you.
My least favorite thing about the male sex is something they do that has happened to me, it's happened to friends, it's happened to girls I can't stand and even then I hate it. Boys have this ability to conjure up confusion at any moment. They are always confused, and they are always confused about one thing in particular: why does the girl I have been flirting with, talking to all day every day, maybe even *gasp* DATING...think that I like her?
MAYBE IT IS BECAUSE YOU'VE DONE NOTHING BUT ACT LIKE YOU DO. Haven't you ever heard that actions speak louder than words? If you text me from 8 AM to 8 PM, if you ask me out on a date, if you cook me dinner, if you tell me I'm pretty, if you do things or say things to me that let me know you're taking me into consideration or thinking about me during your day....I probably am going to get the impression that you're interested in me. If that is not your intention, then I suggest you maybe don't do those things. Don't call me. Don't ask to take me out. Don't flirt with me. Then, we can avoid the inevitable conversation that happens when this behavior is continued for an extended period of time that goes like this in general terms:
Girl: So, what do you think about all of this? Do you see this actually going somewhere?
Boy: Wow. This feels like it is coming out of no where.
Girl: Hm. Really? It just feels like you've been pretty clear about liking me.
Boy: Woah, woah, things feel like they're moving kind of fast. I thought this was more of a casual hang out thing.
Girl: I mean, I just thought since we're together all the time and you're always asking me to hang out and talking to me that this was moving towards a good place.
Boy: Ahhh, yeah I'm not really seeing your point here?
Girl: You cooked me dinner.
Boy: Well, people have to eat.
Girl: It was Valentine's Day.
Boy: I don't own a calendar.
*awkward silence ensues*
Boy: So, wanna have sex?
(^ Objects in this mirror are more exaggerated than they seem)
So that is my least favorite thing about the opposite sex. Do what you say and do what you feel and BE WHO YOU MAKE US BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE. JUST BE HIM. OR DON'T BE HIM AND THEN WE WILL NEVER HAVE TO ASK YOU WHY YOU'RE NOT OUR BOYFRIEND YET. IT'S NOT THAT HARD.
Okay, I guess it wasn't so hard to pick just one.
How close is Let's Try This Again to your real life experience?
What is the craziest date (event or guy) you've ever been on?
What is the hardest lesson you've ever had to learn through a relationship?
Who's better to date/sexier - east coast or west coast guys?
Is there ever the same kind of love more than once?
Answers to these questions coming soon!
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